Quote of the Day (2014-12-31)

Lisa: My family never talks about library standards. And every time I try to steer the conversation that way, they make me feel like a nerd.

Comic Book Guy: We are hardly nerds. Would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt?

[open his jacket to show off his shirt]

Lisa: [reading the shirt] "C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN".

[laughs]

Lisa: Oh, only one person in a million would find that funny.

Professor Frink: Yes, we call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio."

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-12-30)

Tom Hanks: Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2014-12-29)

Jim Hacker: "Obviously the Home Secretary will have to resign."

Sir Humphrey: "Alas, yes."

Jim Hacker: "What on earth will happen to him?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I gather he was as drunk as a lord, so after a discrete interval they will probably make him one."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-12-28)

Lisa Simpson: But I'm so angry.

Marge Simpson: You're a woman. You can hold on to it forever.

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2014-12-26)

Sam Baldwin: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!

Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.

Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."

Greg: Who didn't?

Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin

[Begins to cry]

Sam Baldwin: were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...

Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!

Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez...

Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!

Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...

Greg: Stop.

Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...

Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Source: Sleepless in Seattle

Quote of the Day (2014-12-25)

Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest castle in these islands.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-12-24)

Martin: Half your listening audience hears voices already, and the other half talks to themselves! If you don't show up, who's going to notice?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-12-23)

Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?

Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2014-12-22)

Stop marching. You're dancing, not invading Poland.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2014-12-21)

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?

Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2014-12-20)

[after Annie parks the car]

Alvy Singer: Don't worry. We can walk to the curb from here.

Source: Annie Hall